I promise a proper update for everything soon

things have really slowed down a bit here..

its not that i dont want to write..i do...i really do..

sometimes it seems i want to update a lot of things at once..

this blog..
flickr..
frenster..(kadang2..)
intern report..

and my life with its crucial relationships..

i like to be well informed, and well updated..however I have found myself sometimes just running away from it all when its just too much..
and yield nothing..

doesnt help that internet is now restricted at the workplace..(-_-")..not saying that i spend my quality working hours on the net doing blogs..its just that, i dont have the channel anymore to quickly jot down any spurious thoughts or inputs..
keep them for later?..not the same vibe...

owh well, mebe were not meant to occupy our mind other than the spreadsheets and documents at the desk..

that aside....

life goes on.


my photoshop is now open almost always when the comp is on.kunun2 i can just edit2 should i not be able to sleep at nite..sorta like a midnight activity i can indulge in to forcibly make me feel sleepy..

this is one i made yesterday night..



















a whole plethora of brushes..mind half awake..so be gentle on the comments..

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Be the reason for my smiles? :)

needing a holiday..and work is starting to blow..

sori guys, ive been busy and i need a holiday..
aku terigin untuk bercuti...

cuti..argh..tak sangka susah pula mahu bercuti2..
keje tak abis2 memanggil..segan pula mahu minta cuti dari boss..;p
aku perlukan masa bertenang....a time where its just me, and endless fun..
di mana?
bila?
bersama sapa lagi?
wargh!!!
questions questions questions!!!

dan aku benci...
mengapa semua pulau jauh2? pulau2 untuk tourist i mean.
pulau tioman, pangkor dan seangkatan..
aku mahukan lautan biru, bukan lautan coklat!!!
aku mahu lihat corals seperti dalam movie, and meet nemo lookalikes..
bermain2 pasir yang tak dicemari dgn sampah2...
ngaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

and oh, id would love the opportunity to shoot beaches..nice ones..mebe with a couple of bikini models too..hahahaha *hidung berdarah* :8~

rakan2 sekalian, marilah kita ramai plan untuk ke destinasi..kemana2lah..asalkan bukan urban setting..aku sudah jemu lihat concrete..

plan sahaja, aku turut..aku mahu jadi pak turut kali ini..

ade cadangan? sile kemukakan di shoutbox...aku sedia mendengar...



dan kepada kaki2 tembak..

ape plan??

there goes my savings..

Rite...now no more for Eton...

rig rig rig rig rig rig rig rig..














rakan2, mari kita TT kalau kamu ingin cuba dan lihat..

Kene racun..cis2..

Kene racun..

racun!!!

cis2..dah aa outnumbered..aku odd one out..

ngaaa...cam kene jump ship aje...

(-_-")..loyalty kaman2!!!

aku pergi dengan harapan untuk angkat flashgun..kedai tu pula takde stock..argh!! tensi2!!!

nabe angkat speelight, aku terpinga2..

pastu machaa pula bwk kluar senapang beliau..

0_o!!

*drool~*

berempat: aku, nabe, haeqal dan micheal..

aku sorang sahaja pengguna brand len..ngaaa




















Macha nye 40D, 50mm 1.8 dan penembak flash..*drool~* bile aku nak angkat aku nye nih?















besar bapak klu banding dgn Eton..cis2..racun abis..sigma lens, forgot berapa range, tapi constant aperture at 2.8.. memang syiook~~ tested on 350D..aku rasa bunyi shutter Eton lagi best...hahaha :P



































kesimpulan..simpan duit..pose due tige bulan..hue~

Cite dulu..ye..reminiscence

I like expressing myself..

here..

in words of course..walaupun aku tak punyai reader base yang tetap, tak mengapa, aku tulis juga..

and through pictures..most recently..

i use to love drawing..conteng2 gambar orang-orangan on any empty papers i can find, any empty walls......

i remember that when i was in my early primary years, i dream of growing up being an artiste..yelah, kecik2 dulu cikgu puji aje ape yang kita lukis..cita2 terus melonjak..

aku lukis2 ufo dan bunga2, dua bende yang aku suka lukis masa tadika..
my teacher would look at it and say..

"wah~, lawanya, bunga ke nih?"...if it looked like one you wouldnt have to ask. (-_-").
"semua, lihatlah lukisan yang adik Fasyan buat nih, cantik kan?"..aku tersipu2 malu..

senang makan puji kecil2 dahulu..cikgu beri bintang emas untuk hasil contengan aku, terus impian aku untuk menjadi jagoan2 seni...

naive..aku tahu..

aku kept on drawing, masuk competition yang diadakan di sekolah..tak menang, tapi untuk dinominasi mewakili kelas sudah cukup untuk kembungkan ego aku..

apa yang nak dilukis? bawa datang, beta lukis!! angkuh, aku tahu..tapi itu dulu

sampai tahap dimana rakan2 kecilan aku minta aku melukis portrait mereka..mereka rela menahan expresi untuk sedemikian lama, dengan harapan akan hasil seni dari tangan kecil aku..

ah, aku memang popular masa itu..popular...;p

malang..
semua itu tak tahan lama..malang betul..aku masih ingat, it was during an art class in year 5..titik tolak aku membaling pena seni untuk sekian lama...moral down...
there was this temporary teacher taking over, Mr samting2, Scotsman aku pasti, sebab aku masih ingt pelat die susah nak faham oleh aku yang masih rangkak2 berbahasa asing..

"Allright children, pick a partner, and draw their face best you can"

mudah.
.mudah..
itu bisikan hati aku dikaburi ego..

aku lukis muka sahabat aku, penuh gusto, penuh semangat, yakin bahawa aku bakal hasilkan seni yang akan dijaja keliling untuk tatapan umum.

then he came along, took a quick look, and asked me

"You drawing your friend or the incredible hulk there son?"

0_o?

gamam seketika..

yelah, sahabat aku orang Pakistan..walaupun umur baru sahaja 9 tahun, sudah punyai misai..aku lihat dan lukis sahaja..dan memang orang Pakistan berbulu sedikit,so aku lukis juga..
well, mebe aku ade exagerate sedikit, but its art bukan?

pedulikan..
pendek kata..
hati kecil ku remuk..
itu sahaja, dan aku sudah lupakan cita2 untuk bertanding di arena seni..

emotional and psychological scar..


skarang, bertahun2 kemudian, aku ambil jalan mudah, tangkap sahaja pakai kamera..
senang, kalau orang komen buruk..
aku masuk photoshop..
kalau orang masih kata buruk..aku kata

"Ini art okayh, kau kata buruk, aku kata cantik..nilai seni, kau memang tiada"

aku ade pychological and emotional impact okayh, sape mahu lawan?

Its the small pleasures..

I use to hate to cut my hair back when i was a kid..i hated it..
being a kid,I was not one who would be able to sit down quietly while some stranger pranced around my head, snipping here and there, pushing my head there and here..

As for long as i can remember, Dad was usually the one who took me to the barber shop..and we would only visit it when he saw both me and my bro looked like we were wearing songkok all day long (yeah, talk about hard wire hair..nightmare to comb..)..
he would walk in first, make eye contact with the mamak holding the cutting machine and say,

"My two boys, make them hensem"

not hard to do, i assure you..hahahaha
but, i was less than amused by such man to man gestures..
the itch, the stillness..argh, it was unbearable for the child me to sit still about it..plus, it always scares me when razor sharp scissors are but an inch away from ur eyes..(x_X)..
plus, you can always tell if the mamak just had his lunch...his hand would smell of curry..euw..(-_-#)

Once though, Dad was unable to take us to the barber shop for some reason, so Mum was called in as a replacement..If it were up to dad, he would take us to the mamak without even thinking...Mum?..well....she took us to a fancy saloon..
wuu..
we were living in Klang then..so its not some fancy saloon you would see at the shopping malls..;p

being a concious kid, i was hesitant to enter at first , ya lah, got huge picture of a woman in front..I being a guy, 5 years old worth of guy-ness, could not bring myself to enter without hesitation..;p..i was thinking, this must be a place for women!! argh!!! shame2!!!!

so ok, i got forced in anyways, but point is i put up a small fight first..;p

anyways, the reason why i remember that particular trip to the saloon was because the hairdresser complained so hard about me not being able to sit still..he was always pushing my head here and there..tilting it like it was a globe and he was trying to search for Italy on it..

"Adik, jangan banyak gerak"
"Adik, duduk diam-diam"
"Adik..(-_-#)"

I think i pissed him off..
young Fasyan-1, gay hairdresser-0

He was already forced to fight a war with my barb wire hair..and now he has the jiggly child attached to the hair to handle...not his day im assuming..
i remember coming out with my hair less than perfect..holes all over, courtesy of the fidgeting I did all the way thru the session..;p

ah, good times..good times..

now, its different it seems..yes, a lot less fidgeting on the hot seat, and i seem to enjoy it a tad bit more too....and i go not because i was forced, its because i want to..yeah, thank maturity and a heightened sense of self grooming for that..;p
cant stand to see my unruly hair get past my ears..itchylah..(=_=")\

"ane, potong pendek aa, atas kasi panjang sket!!"

life is good, tis good

Go go gadget money maker!!

aku mudah teruja..

aih..aku rasa ia Achilles heel aku..

sudah beberapa kali aku menahan temptation untuk menghapus duit simpanan titik peluh..sudah banyak kali...ye, aku sedikit spendrift pabila bab2 gadget2 nih..

gadgetmaniac? apekah wujud vernakulasi itu? ah, jika ada, akulah contoh terbaik..

Terasa seperti shopaholic..eargh..padahal aku hanya minat pada barang electronics, kasut dan baju dan item penghiasan diri yang lain...kadang-kadang, bila aku rasa fashion sense aku perlu di revamp..

untuk pengetahuan, aku kini sedang dlm process menabung untuk funding rig baru..
aku rasa kaum lelaki tahu apa yang it rig...RIG...
kaum hawa, mesti kamu kehairanan bukan? oil rig? drilling rig?

kenapa rig baru? rig lama sudah,bak orang kata...tukun...walaupun bagi parents aku dan adik2 aku dirumah, rig lama aku bagaikan jet pejuang..;p

aku tak tahu dimana mahu letak ego jantan aku jika semua rerakan upgrade rig mereka sedangkan aku masih lagi blom kenal apa itu dual core..yeah, its a guy thing..;p..its the same with girls and their shoes and what nots, only for us guys, its a once in every 2-3 years kinda thing..

macamana?
nak menabung untuk Eton, menabung untuk rig, menabung untuk masa depan..bnyk btul tabung..

skarang ni aku hanya ada satu tabung..tabung untuk berbini *aku tahu kamu juga ada tabung sebegini*..nampaknya aku kene bukak tabung lagi..

nanti jika salah satu tabung itu sampai ke destinasi kamu, jangan segan2 untuk menyumbang k? ..aku balas dengan senyuman jutawan aku :D

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currently listening to, and addicted to..
Alicia Keys - like you'll never see me again
Estrella-all their music
JT & Madonna - 4 minutes